Tuesday, July 5, 2016

My Fitness Journey

My name’s Daniella, and I’m fat. It’s a scary word, I know. People shy away from it by saying “curvy,” “plus size,” and “more meat on your bones.” It’s true – I am all of those things. But I’m also fat. The thing is, I don’t see myself that way. I don’t believe that my identity is linked to my body. I’m a person in a body, and that’s all there is to it. I have a shining personality, I’m a great friend, and I am passionate about the things I’m involved in. None of that has anything to do with the way I look. I have a healthy relationship with my body. It does what I need it to do. It works well. However, that doesn’t matter to some people. They will look at me and see me as fat – period. As of recently, I’ve started to see what they mean.


I’ve never really struggled with self esteem, but the past school year, something changed. I wouldn’t say I have low self esteem now, but there are more days where I look in the mirror and I don’t like the way I look. And then, a couple events really hit me. Near the end of my time in the UK, I was walking up a lot of hills. I was struggling. It was much more difficult than it was supposed to be. In both cases, I was nearly in tears over the prospect of walking one more step up the cliff/moor. It made me feel awful about myself. The worst event is when I went to the seaside and wore a skirt. That was a stupid decision in the first place, but because of all the walking I did, I got the worst chaffing blisters I have ever experienced. I actually put myself into shock just to force myself to keep walking. I’ve been left with awful scars on my thighs that will never go away. After all that, I’m ready for a change.
WEEK ONE

Weight
214 lbs.
Neck
36.1 cm.
Left Arm
41 cm.
Right Arm
41 cm.
Waist
94.5 cm.
Belly
117.2 cm.
Hips
128 cm.
Left Thigh
79 cm.
Right Thigh
75 cm.
Left Calf
47.8 cm.
Right Calf
46.1 cm.

Welcome to my fitness journey. My issue with seeing these things online is that they always seem to be sponsored posts, and it always seems to be by a blogger who is already thin. I am not thin, and I know there are other people out there like me. I think this series encapsulates my theme of “real, not ideal” perfectly. I’m putting myself out there in the scariest way possible. I’m making myself vulnerable by sharing pictures and posting actual measurements. I hear that people who track their progress through pictures are more successful. I also hear that weight is not a good scale for success, so measuring parts of your body is better. So that’s what I’m going to do on a monthly basis. I hate working out, but I recently discovered that I actually like yoga.  Pairing that with walking more and that’s the plan.
-Daniella