Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Coming to Terms With . . .

Fill in the blank. I have come to terms with __________. I think people underestimate how powerful it is to come to terms with things in your life. In terms of how powerful it can be for yourself, I align it with letting people go. This can apply to any situation. In my case, I have recently come to terms with a couple things, and I feel so free. It has made me happier, and things that I used to worry about are no longer on the forefront of my mind. I recently explained this idea to a friend, and he agreed with me.
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The first situation of mine is the fact that I’m single. I always say that I don’t have a problem with it. And I don’t. That being said, it’s hard to be single when all my closest friends are in relationships, and the university culture means that I see and hear about people hooking up more than I care to know about. It’s tough to know that at this time, I’m not what most guys want because I want a relationship and not a hookup. However, through a conversation with some good friends, I have come to terms with this. I know that I have a lot to give in a relationship. I know that I am different than a lot of girls around me. I know which qualities that I possess that make me desirable. I am in a constant battle with my inner demons over the insecurities that come with knowing those things, but being in a world that contrasts those thoughts. My friends made me realize that yes, at the time, it is tough to believe in myself, but my amazing qualities are ones that will be valuable in the future. I may not be first in line for guys right now, but in the future, when they want to settle down in a relationship, than I will come into consideration. I’m making this sound like a business arrangement, but it is a thought that has comforted me many times. Do I still have lonely times? Yes. But they come around less since I have come to terms with the idea of being single. I do admit that I would have feelings of jealousy towards my friends in relationships, but that is a feeling that has disappeared. I have plenty of time to be single and have fun and do my own thing before starting a relationship, and I am now thankful for this!
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My second situation I will address in a general way because it was something that happened recently, and I’d rather not share details. I pride myself on living without regret. I choose to learn and grow from every situation, whether it is positive or negative. However, I recently found myself in a situation where, in the moment, I could see more negative than positive. In the moments following, I considered it a mistake. For two days, I wrestled with what seemed like a moral dilemma in my mind. I talked it out to many friends, and I did some soul-searching and found my peace through these outlets. After the smoke cleared, I saw that there were more positive aspects to the situation than I originally thought, and once I came to terms with it, the negative didn’t matter as much. I am now easily able to brush it off. I am finding myself excited, and thankful for the situation. Regret is no longer a part of the situation. It was not a mistake, but a beginning to a new part of life.

In both of these situations, I happened to have friends that help me come to a conclusion. It may take more soul searching for you to find your inner peace. Whether you are dealing with insecurities, or bad decisions, then coming to terms with the issue will relieve the anxiety and doubts associated with dwelling on it. Ask yourself some questions. Will this matter in 1 year? Does this make me any less of a wonderful person (NOT does it make you FEEL less wonderful)? What can I learn from this? Am I okay with my decision?

If have a specific issues to address, feel free to contact me.

-Daniella