Real, Not Ideal

       January of 2021. I’ve been finding hard to be in this month without looking back at last year and how hopeful I was about the rest of the year. I had travel plans. I was starting to come up with travel plans ( Belgium and Berlin were my last trips ). I was planning for my leaving party. It’s hard not to feel sad when you look back on 2020. I also feel like it makes me hesitant to make plans and get excited for things in 2021. I keep being told to be hopeful, but this lack of knowing holds me back from making plans.      I don’t want this to be negative. This is just the “real” part of where I’m at right now. However, there is actually a lot I can count on and look forward to. Despite the fact that I’ve established an awesome Work From Home routine , I’m looking forward to being back in person to teach. This past week, I also got an official job offer that means I have solid work for the rest of the year teaching English! My book club will be meeting regularly again. I’m doing an

       I think that (too long) title says it all. Working from home can be so tough for those of us who are not as inclined to stay focused in a home environment. I mean, I specifically stay at work so I can get my work done after school and be done with it when I get home. Now, I’m working from home like a lot of others right now. It has been only a few weeks, and there have been a lot of adaptations I’ve had to make. It has been a huuuuuge learning curve for me. Here are a few tips that have really helped me. 1.       Plan your day hour by hour. At the end of the day, I take the time to plan things out. I’m very busy with two jobs, so this allows me to fill my limited space with things like my goals and snacks in between shifts. I also find that doing things by the hour gives me the flexibility to move things around if I need to. 2.       Be sure to schedule in walking time. I just heard a quote that said something like, “there is no bad weather, just bad attire.” Even tho

  I’ve had a hard week. The teacher that was my reason for everything died in the past week. I’m okay. I’m getting through it. I have felt numb and heavy and so sad and I finally feel a little okay today. To be honest, I’ve been dealing with grief in a lot of different formats. I figuratively lost a friend last year which has been a very difficult process. One of my closest friends moved away this week. Basically, everything came to a head this week. I’m not an expert at all. I’m lucky enough to say that this kind of really painful grief is relatively new to me. However, I thought I would share a few small things that have helped me. 1.       Be gentle with yourself. I’ve watched a lot of Netflix in my evenings. I normally spend time with my sister and talk and laugh and get social. This week, I was gentle. I let myself hold these soft moments without guilt that I was wasting time. 2.       Keep spaces where the grief does not exist. I have found myself telling people about w

 I’ll admit this to you right now – this is a kind of outdated list of reading material for me. I dropped out of reading regularly at the end of 2020, so these books are mostly from November and the fall. I will post a more update version next time, but I couldn’t resist posting this anyway! You Should See Me in a Crown – Leah Johnson – 3 Stars I read this book as the first book in a book club with some fellow bloggers. It is YA and LGBTQ which have been two themes I’ve been reading quite a lot recently. It kind of reminded me of Dear Rachel Maddow from June's reading list with the underdog trying to make it on top. There were also a lot of typical teenage issue stories to dig in to. Ultimately, this book was alright. Everyone in the book club agreed that the ending left a lot of loose ends, but we’re hoping for a second book to carry on from where it left off. I also feel like a lot of storylines were there to check off some kind of teenage issue checklist. Because they were

 Hello to everyone and hello to 2021! So. It has been a while. I’m not entirely sure what happened to my blogging habits, but I am back and ready to start up again! I’ll get straight to it – I have lost my habits completely. There was one week in December where I was dealing with a personal, highly emotional issue, and I spent too many nights using distractions techniques to get myself to stop dwelling on the problem. I’m back to square one. Which is okay. I’m not beating myself up about it for once. I’m just . . . starting again. That’s all. I’m sure you won’t be surprised to know that journaling will be my number one habit again. However, I’m using the new lockdown just like I did last April to really reset myself and get to work on what I need in my life. In the lockdown last year, I was going through some major anxiousness with the uncertainty of seeing my family. I used my routines as a way to help motivate and distract me. There is much less of the sense of anxiousness