What does home mean to you? A
place to lay your hat? Where the heart is? Where your mom is? What makes a
home? Stores insist that their products are the ones that can make a house a
home. There are cleaning products that insist that a clean house is a home. So
what does home really mean?
I struggle with this. Ultimately,
home is with my family. It’s in Canada. It’s in the house where I grew up. My
books are there. My childhood teddy bear is there. My family pictures are
there. Most of my memories are there. It’s where I feel the most comfortable:
the most myself.
Yet, I’ve moved away from that
home. I’ve moved away from that home three times. When I was in
Cardiff, I didn’t feel at home in the place I lived in. In fact, I was
miserable. But when I visit Cardiff again, it feels like I’m coming home. Leeds
has been my home for three years. Matt thought it was a big deal when I started
calling our tiny flat our home. Whenever I go away, I tend to call whatever
AirBnb or hotel room home.
“Let’s go home and decide
there.”
I’m now in the position where I’m
a week away from going back to Canada, but I’m leaving the home I’ve created at
my school. I don’t get to say goodbye to my co-workers, let alone my pupils. It’s
the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever experienced. I’ve made another home
here.
Have I played too fast and loose
with the word home? Is it possible to stretch your definition of home into different
places?
I once asked my dad about this.
He said the same thing as me. He considers home to be where he grew up even
though Nonna doesn’t live there anymore. Am I to expect the same thing if my
parents ever move away from my childhood home?
I have an odd relationship with
the word. I know what makes me feel like I’m home. I know who makes me feel
like I’m home. I just don’t know what home really means.
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