The Confessions of a "Fat" Girl

First of all, I completely forgot to post yesterday. I came home from school and fell asleep for a few hours and then I went to work. So I apologize.

I have been reading a couple things that are really starting to get on my nerves in reference to weight. I am not skinny. I am probably considered overweight, in fact. However, I am lucky in the sense that I am comfortable in my own skin. I know what looks good on my body, and I know what I need to stay away from. I know how to accentuate the best parts of me. That being said, I have a personality that is louder than anything I can wear. I think that is more important than how I look. I just wrote an entire essay in my Women’s Studies class about body vs. personality. But I want to talk about body images and issues. I mean, we live in a world that is obsessed with “Which university has the best boobs” and “Why curvy girls are better than fat girls.” So here is my proposition for this post: I will tell you some facts about life as a “fat” girl and include pros and cons about this fact. Please don’t make judgements until the end. Cool?

Here we go:

1.       I am ugly.

I am bombarded by ads and Hollywood stars flaunting their trimmed and “perfect” bodies, and the only thing I can really get from that is that I am ugly. There is no winning for girls like me. I will not be popular. I will not get a boyfriend. I will not be happy.

PROS: People will approach me because they want to get to know my personality, not my body. I can celebrate the fact that I am unique, and not the cookie cutter image of a model.

CONS: Ads will never be geared towards my body type, and my body type will never be represented in an ad. There are no positive messages out there for me.

2.       Boys will try harder for girls who are skinny.

Our entire society is built upon the notion that looks are in direct correlation with our worth. Guys are also taught that attractive females are better. Therefore, they try harder for these girls. They hold doors open, and offer to help out girls who are considered more attractive.

PROS: I touched on it before, but guys will approach me and like me because of my personality, not my body. I have the freedom to be independent and not depend on a guy’s validation.

CONS: This fact is true, and it sucks that guys don’t really give me the time of day. Guys tend to like my friends better because I have skinnier friends.

3.       It is harder to find clothes.

I have an awkward body shape. I have large thighs, and a large butt, and a bit of a tummy. Pants are impossible because I need them to fit my thighs, but I’m short so pants are always a foot and a half longer than I am.

PROS: I am forced to look in different stores and find the true gems instead of sticking to one or two stores. Trends may not work, but most of the ageless looks are great on me!

CONS: Some stores don’t cater to bigger girls. The trends like short shorts and crop tops do NOT work with me, and it can be hard to get around that.

4.       Sex sells, and I am not sexy.

I am not, and I will never be considered sexy by media and a majority of the general public. It is easy to say that their opinions don’t matter, but when people see my body before they see my personality, I am not a good candidate for being successful.

PROS: I am less likely to be objectified. I have learned that the term “sexy” can be about personality rather than looks.

CONS: It is very difficult to feel sexy when there is no one to tell me that I am. “Sexy” to other people is only about looks.

5.       Curvy and “fat” are two different things. Curvy is better.

There is no in between. You are either skinny or curvy. Either way, the women that represent these categories do not look like me. I am “fat.” In ads, stretch marks are covered, fat rolls are hidden, and curves are smoothed. There is not Photoshop in real life. I need to deal with being “fat.”

PROS: Clothes designated for curvy girls fit me better. There is more representation more women who are, in fact, curvy.

CONS: I am “fat” and there is no way around that. There is no respect for “fat” girls.

I don’t want to exclude skinny females. I think it is just as hurtful to tell a girl that she is too skinny. Body shaming in any sense is not okay, and we need to stop. I’m just writing from my own point of view. It’s the point of view from a girl who was told “the skinny girls never work hard enough” after I taught a water aerobics class. It’s the point of view from a girl who hates that media keeps trying to project a negative message on me. The truth is, too many girls are being negative about their bodies. No one can look like a model. Even models don’t look like models. I don’t know if you’ve heard about Target’s awful Photoshop scandal (Google it), but it is just proof to the fact that the world is obsessed with skinny. Words like “beauty” are tossed around, but there is not solid definition of it. Did you know there was once a time when women with skin on their bones were considered the most desirable? What happened since then? We are told that inner beauty is what matters, but what are we supposed to do with the body we are in? Beauty is not about makeup or weight or popularity. It's about feeling comfortable in your own skin, and if makeup or staying fit allows you to do that, then that is fine! We need to appreciate and celebrate our flaws AND amazing features, because they work together to create one wonderful woman! I get that it is hard. There is media and other people constantly breathing down your neck telling you the opposite. One day, we need to turn it off. Stop listening. Stand together and believe in our value as women, not as a body type. That is what I want for this world.

I also want you to know that I put the pros in there, because I see the pros to this situation. I struggled to come up with sufficient negatives, because those are not what are important to me. I’ve been living in this awful world, and I’ve figured out how to oppose it in my personal life. Some days are easier than others. Some people won’t be able to do the same. But for me, I just wish that everyone could be comfortable in their own skin. It feels better to love yourself. I want to represent someone real. I want to reach out to the girls (or even guys) who feel the same. It’s in the title of this blog. I may not be ideal, but I am real.

See? This is me eating cake. Because I enjoy cake.

This was good. I feel better. I would love your input on this (guys and girls). Leave me a comment!

-Daniella