Yesterday was my birthday, and
I am 21, and that feels like a big deal for some reason. The last couple
birthdays have not been fantastic, but I had been looking forward to this one
for some reason. It was my first birthday away from home, and some of the
people I’m closest to here are away for Easter break, but it was the most amazing day. I didn't do anything over the top, but
I did make myself a cake made out of chocolate chip cookies. For my birthday-themed
post, I looked back at pictures from the past year to remind myself of some
important lessons I’ve learned.
1.
Living with people is going to come with
issues.
I
moved to Leeds back in September, and I have to live with people for the first
time. It’s more difficult than I thought it would be. Between the Tetris-esque
stack of dishes by the sink, flatmates who refuse to clean the bathrooms, and
thin walls that make it so you hear all the sex everyone is having, there have
been some frustrating moments. The only thought getting me through those times
has been “this is temporary.” Of course, there will be some great things that
come out of it. I’m thinking about a trip to Philadelphia next year to visit my
current American flatmates. It's certainly a balance of good and bad, and I am grateful to have the opportunity to meet so many different people.
2.
The right friends will make an effort.
The
thing about moving away is that you start to see who is fully supporting you. When
I found out about my exchange, I made a discreet post on Facebook so that only
some people knew what I was actually talking about. I was overcome with
messages of congratulations, and one friend even bought me a cake! When it came
to the day I left, the same people messaged me or came out for a night out
before I left. The night before I left, one friend came over after work, and
two friends came over after their busiest day at school so they could say
goodbye. Some friends didn’t bother. The friends who put the effort in make all
the difference in my life, and I know that more than ever now.
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| 20th Birthday Wine and Cheese with Marlee. |
3.
You’ll catch up with the people who seem to be
ahead of you.
I
have always been the single girl with friends who are in long-term
relationships. It sucks. I always felt like I was missing out or behind. Over
the past year, I had one friend get married and another get engaged. I had a
conversation with my dad about this, and he told me that’s going to happen all
throughout my life. By the time I’m at the same stage in my life, these friends
will probably be having kids. It happens, but my dad says you’re going to catch
up. I’m no longer in the same position, so I’ve realized that as slow as it
seems to be taking, your lives will synch up again.
4.
"Grin and bear" it is a key tip to
professionalism.
I
love my job, and my staff over the summer was the best yet. I worked with a lot
people from the past and maintained old friendships. We partied and hung out
often. However, there was one staff member that I didn’t get along with. I made
the mistake of calling him out a party (another lesson learned), and things
were tense between us. I obviously couldn’t let this tension show at work, so I
learned about what it means to be professional even when you don’t want to be. Sometimes, you need to suck it up and pretend like they're your best friend.
5.
It is okay to speak up when you don’t believe
in something your friend is doing.
I’m
the kind of person who will speak up for something I don’t believe is right.
Over the past year, I found myself confronting a friend about a life decision I
thought to be questionable. It almost lost me a friendship. However, having mature
adult conversations is a part of life, and we both learned how to talk things out
in that way. I don’t regret my decision. Even though it caused a major riff in
our relationship for a time, I know it was worth it to speak up because I would
have tortured myself by keeping it in.
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| Stonehenge with new friends. |
6.
Spontaneity can be awesome.
I don’t
consider myself to be a particularly spontaneous person. At the end of the last
school year, I got it into my head that I wanted to chop my hair off. Within 24
hours of that idea, I booked an appointment and went through with it. It was
one of the best decisions I have made regarding the way I look. I don’t think I’m
going to make spontaneous decisions a part of my everyday life, but it would be
cool to see how future spontaneous decisions could be included in my life.
7.
Be careful who you host parties with.
Whether
it be a flat party, birthday party, or bridal shower, this point is valuable to
keep in mind. It may seem like the greatest idea to host a party with your
roommates, friends, or siblings, but you need to make sure everyone involved is
completely on board. If you’re hosting a party together, tasks should be
divided equally. A party isn’t just about the social aspect or pulling food or
drinks together. It includes a lot of work before, during, AND after. For
example, splitting food/drink costs before, checking on food supplies during,
and doing the major cleanup after are all important aspects. Make sure everyone
is committed to splitting ALL the tasks at hand, and the party will be
flawless.
So there we go. I’ve
learned a lot in this past year, and I can’t wait to see what I will learn as a
21 year old!
-Daniella
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