One of my favourite posts I’ve ever written on here is the one where I wrote a love letter to each of my closest female friends. Friendship is something that means a lot to me. I haven’t always had friends in my life, and it’s not something I take for granted.
Ultimately, I need my friends.
They make be better. They inspire me. They show me how to live my life in
different ways. I have made so many friends in different circumstances, and I
am eternally grateful for all of them.
I certainly haven’t made it easy
to be friends with me. Moving to a different continent will most definitely challenge
friendships. However, I’ve had friends visit me in England, keep me up to date
on their lives sporadically, and stay strong with virtual wine nights.
I’ve lost friends as well, and that is
something I struggle with. I feel like I’m a failure. I feel like my friendship
wasn’t good enough for these people to hang on to. Even though it may have been
a growing apart, it feels like rejection. It makes me question my own worth as
a friend.
The thing is, I have evidence about why people
don’t like me. I use words that are too big. I’m too much. I seem two-faced. Now,
the people who are in my life and love me know that these things are either
true and love me anyway or utterly false. However, these things play on my mind
a lot.
My question is, how do you know when to let
friendships go without thinking it’s something you did? How do you drive past
the areas in your city that hold so many memories without being reminded of the
friendship that was once so special to you? How can you heal when it still feels
like they should be in your life?
Ultimately, it’s all okay. I will always look
to the strong friendships I have now before looking back to the friendships
that didn’t work out. Friendships change. The nature of friendships change. It’s
part of life and if you’re going through it right now, you’re not alone.
-
Daniella
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