Real, Not Ideal

 Can anyone else believe it’s the end of May? For being in a pandemic and not being able to do anything, I feel like 2021 has flown by so far. Also , it has been about a year since I moved home in the middle of a pandemic. That is a fact that makes me so sad when I think too hard about it. There is still so much uncertainty, and I don’t know when I’ll be able to see the British people I love again. It has been hard to come up with these favourites when I’m not doing anything! My days are work, tutoring, family, repeat. I’ve been talking with people online a lot more and trying to plan at least some things for the future, but overall, the things that make me happy are quite simple. 1.        Baking If you have been watching my Instagram stories, you’ll see that I’ve had an Amish Friendship Loaf starter for about a month now. Every ten days, I get to bake with it. I’ve made waffles, bread, scones, cinnamon buns, and loaves. This has been somethi...

Get ready for a long one today people! I maaaaay or may not be giving you reviews of ALL of the books I’ve read in 2021 so far (and one from 2020). I have been so off my blogging game that I just have not been keeping you updated. On another note, I am thrilled that summer is right around the corner because it means that I’ll be reading so much more (a book a day anyone?). I’m practically vibrating with excitement about that. Summer is where I tend to read more physical books rather than from my Kobo. I’m ready for the pool floaty reading days! Enjoy all of my books from 2021: The Library Book – Susan Orlean – 4.5 Stars I feel like the word “essential” has become confusing in these Covid times, but this book highlights the fact that libraries are essential services to communities. From its programs to reading to story time for kids, libraries are a hub of learning and community. I pretty much grew up in the library, so this book meant the world to me. This is not a typical no...

 Hello everyone! This is going to be more of a general update since I’m pretty much back where I was since the last goals update. By the end of January, I was actually doing very well. I had a great schedule and routine that worked well for me. Then, I got injured in February. It ended up being a dislocated kneecap and avulsion fracture. For a while, my coping skills were taken away from me. I was in pain and not sleeping, not able to walk to clear my head or exercise to get the tension out. Honestly, I went into a low-motivation slump for a few months which was only exacerbated by lockdowns, Visa paperwork, job stress, and more lockdowns. After a re-buckling incident, I’m being sent for an MRI which is in a few weeks, and I’ll know if there’s anything more serious going on. I’m incredibly grateful for physio and the Sports Clinic in my city that was able to treat me quickly and effectively. The other good news is that I woke up a couple weeks ago feeling like myself again. ...

  It is not a secret that I love journaling. It has been something that has kept me going through my entire life. As a result, I have so many journals from over the years. I started reading some of my old journals this past week and laughed at myself. I was pretty much boy obsessed and I’ve never been good at staying on track with my goals. In other words, I haven’t changed that much. I thought it would be fun to share some of my past entries from May 9 th over the years. I’m adding my own comments in, but I’m not changing the punctuation so don’t judge! May 9, 2006 You know the drill. I’m really sorry. Another bad day. You have to admire my directness. May 9, 2007 I’ve noticed that Kullen talks to me all the time ( New boy at school. I was obsessed.) I had a very hot day. We were sweating like crazy when we were skipping (ew).   I went to watch the other skipping to cool off. That turned into a basketball game with Kullen. I lost (obviously) . In gym class, w...

  I've cried over you. I've cried when I thought I was doing you a disservice by teaching you. I've cried when I fought for you but you weren't willing to fight with me. I've cried when you told me you despised me. I've also cried when you've succeeded. I've cried when you get your "a-ha" moment. I've cried when you finally get the marks you wanted. I've cried when you leave my room feeling better about yourself. I've cried through your emotions. I've cried while talking you through panic attacks. I've cried while we held hands during the last exam before the world shut down. I've cried when you opened up about issues at home. I've cried through this pandemic. I've cried after hearing about how you feel trapped. I've cried knowing you need your friends to feel okay. I've cried about the uncertainty you've had to face. I've cried because I hurt for you. I've cried after wishing I could reach th...